Thursday, January 10, 2008

Feeling Inadequate

Last night after I finished with choir practice at the church where I play the piano, I then went over to my own church for a meeting with some other ladies about a bridal shower we are giving in February. This shower is going to be for one of my closest friend's son and his fiance', so I definitely want to be one of the hostesses. I knew before I went that something like this is totally out of my comfort zone, but I didn't realize that it was going to leave me feeling completely inadequate. After sitting around with several women who know how to decorate tables and make beautiful cakes, mints and cheese straws, I wondered why I was even sitting in that room. I really felt like I didn't belong and that I didn't know how to do ANYTHING! I mean I don't even have the nice serving trays and dishes like everyone else has because I'm just not into entertaining with all kinds of frilly stuff. All I know how to do is make a big ole' pot of chili or a bunch of tacos and move out of the way while some hungry guys help themselves. To be honest, last night I felt like a complete failure as a woman and I feared that I've probably passed this on to my daughter.

This morning I was still having these feelings of inadequacy to the point where I could have just cried if I would have allowed it. But almost as soon as I felt like crying, I started asking God to help me change in this area and to help me learn new things. Now here's the great thing about having scripture stored away in your memory; as soon as I started praying, verses about His strength being made perfect through my weaknesses started pouring into my mind as if God himself was talking to me. He said in these verses that his grace is sufficient and that when I am weak, then He is strong. I am so thankful to have the Word of God to comfort me at times like this. After that, my thoughts became more positive and I decided not to let this steal my joy. I'm going to take it upon myself to learn some new things and become good at making at least one frilly recipe that would be good at bridal showers. And then maybe I'll learn how to make one of those bows that you hang on the door for a bridal shower. Maybe I'll get a part-time job with a catering service to learn some things about making food look pretty on a table. I don't know what I'll really end up doing, but I thought of a lot of things I could do to improve myself in this area.

I do want to mention also that when I got home last night, I told my husband how I was feeling and he was so sweet. He hugged me and told me about all the things that I do well -- to him, it doesn't matter whether I can do those frilly things or not, he just loves me the way I am. I thank the Lord for my wonderful husband!

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10


sister sheri said...

Kathy - Great Husband!!!

You feel inadequate? Now, really, how many of those women from the bridal shower planing can play the piano like you? You should offer to play a beautiful solo at the party!

I'm totally inadequate in the music arena... well, that is except for Rock Band or Guitar Hero, hee hee!

Amel's Realm said...

I also LOVE the verses!!! When I moved here, boy, I was in for a surprise! Moving to a totally new country where you barely speak the language means you have to learn almost everything all over again. They use different utensils, they even wash dishes differently than Indonesians...and I learn that there are still so many other things I have to learn every now and then. I keep on asking hubby about this and that and this and that...and I make SO many mistakes, too!!!

But I'm also GLAD that he's patient and he never tells me I'm stupid or other negative things.

And you're right...God accepts us just the way we are...after all, He looks into our hearts, not the frills. Surely learning new things is also beneficial, but I'm GLAD that God doesn't look at all of those. :-))))

And you're right about memorizing verses. I haven't memorized too many yet, but those that I've memorized have really helped...or sometimes memorizing songs DOES help, too. :-))))

All in all, this is a GREAT post, Kathy. :-)))

Amel's Realm said...

One more thing, though...even though my situation isn't the same, but I know how it feels to feel inadequate...but I'm glad you didn't let it get in the way. But don't you worry about passing anything to your daughter. Nobody's perfect and I'm sure she's learnt SO MANY POSITIVE THINGS from you, just because you are who you are!!!!!!!!!!

Kay said...

I don't think anyone cares if you can do frilly things!
How boring would it be if we all had the same skills.
I know how your feel, though. I really do. Really.
But God made us all unique with unique abilities.
Not that there's anything wrong with learning something new - if it's because you really want to learn.
But if it's because you feel like you need to in order to be good enough -- forget it.

74WIXYgrad said...

For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?
But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. 1 Corinithians 12:14-18 KJV

God gave us all talents to compliment one another and to give Him praise.

Nina said...

Ditto to what everyone else said! Anyway, aren't there more occasions in life that call for a big ole pot of chili, than for mints and frilly cakes? :)

Kathy said...

Sheri, Amel, Kay and Cliff, thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words! I should never have allowed myself to feel that way. But thank you for reminding me that we each have our place and our own purposes in this world, and that variety makes us each unique.

Kathy said...

Oh, Nina, I didn't mean to leave you out. I think we were both writing our comments at the same time. Thanks so much! Yes, I sure eat a lot more chili than mints!

uriah said...

hmmm...chilli. I grew up with a mother who cooked very similar to how you described. We have used the same plates and dishes since I was a kid. They weren't fancy but they were durable. It was always about hanging out as a family and enjoy each others fellowship. Then I got married. My wife's family is the opposite. They break out the fine china and tea for every occasion. To this day it always makes me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel like everyone is playing tea party and no one is really connecting. Her family is great but I definately would pick tacos over frilly any day. Then again this may be because I'm a man. Either way I'm sure your family loves you very much and they feel like they are in a haven when they visit. That's how I feel everytime I go home.

Now I'm hungry.

Kathy said...

Thanks, Uriah, for encouragement! It's always nice to know there are other people similar to me and my family.
You and my son should meet each other next time his band plays in your area. I think you'd have a lot in common!

BP said...

It is always a blessing to read your blog. This post as well as the comments you received all encouraged me today.

Frasypoo said...

I want to learn how to make wedding cake !!!

uriah said...

I will definitely check them out next time they are in the area...I bought the CD and absolutely love it. Track number 9 is my favorite. My 2 year loves it too. He likes me to play it loud and the car so that he can dance. I going to write a blog about it one of these days but I want to video tape it first to add to the blog. It's great!