Last night after I finished with choir practice at the church where I play the piano, I then went over to my own church for a meeting with some other ladies about a bridal shower we are giving in February. This shower is going to be for one of my closest friend's son and his fiance', so I definitely want to be one of the hostesses. I knew before I went that something like this is totally out of my comfort zone, but I didn't realize that it was going to leave me feeling completely inadequate. After sitting around with several women who know how to decorate tables and make beautiful cakes, mints and cheese straws, I wondered why I was even sitting in that room. I really felt like I didn't belong and that I didn't know how to do ANYTHING! I mean I don't even have the nice serving trays and dishes like everyone else has because I'm just not into entertaining with all kinds of frilly stuff. All I know how to do is make a big ole' pot of chili or a bunch of tacos and move out of the way while some hungry guys help themselves. To be honest, last night I felt like a complete failure as a woman and I feared that I've probably passed this on to my daughter.
This morning I was still having these feelings of inadequacy to the point where I could have just cried if I would have allowed it. But almost as soon as I felt like crying, I started asking God to help me change in this area and to help me learn new things. Now here's the great thing about having scripture stored away in your memory; as soon as I started praying, verses about His strength being made perfect through my weaknesses started pouring into my mind as if God himself was talking to me. He said in these verses that his grace is sufficient and that when I am weak, then He is strong. I am so thankful to have the Word of God to comfort me at times like this. After that, my thoughts became more positive and I decided not to let this steal my joy. I'm going to take it upon myself to learn some new things and become good at making at least one frilly recipe that would be good at bridal showers. And then maybe I'll learn how to make one of those bows that you hang on the door for a bridal shower. Maybe I'll get a part-time job with a catering service to learn some things about making food look pretty on a table. I don't know what I'll really end up doing, but I thought of a lot of things I could do to improve myself in this area.
I do want to mention also that when I got home last night, I told my husband how I was feeling and he was so sweet. He hugged me and told me about all the things that I do well -- to him, it doesn't matter whether I can do those frilly things or not, he just loves me the way I am. I thank the Lord for my wonderful husband!
And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
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