Thursday, January 24, 2008

Divorce

This subject is on my mind today because of a phone call I received last night. As much as I wish this wasn't true, divorce is a part of our lives, and probably affects almost everyone to some extent. And please know that anything I say about it is not said in any kind of judgmental tone at all. I'm sure that there will be someone reading this who has been through a divorce and I am not looking down on you or trying to make you feel bad in any way whatsoever. There are a lot of people close to me who have been through divorces. I have three sisters and two of them are divorced. My husband has three brothers and all three of them have been through divorces. But no matter how common it is or becomes, I hate it so much because of what I've seen it do to some people I know who had no choice in the matter. I know that in some situations a divorce may become necessary. But the people I have on my mind today were unwilling parties to divorces brought on by the selfishness of spouses who decided to just try out someone new and different -- both after 25 years of marriage. It has caused their whole lives to have to change drastically. They loved their spouses and didn't want a divorce but they had no choice because the spouses left them for someone else. These people were hurt so much in the process, one even going into depression, anxiety, panic attacks and hospitalization several times and now is living on so much medication. The other one was of course depressed at first and spent a little time on medication but was able to get off, and has a good job and is able to be self-supporting thank God. But the one who had to be hospitalized just breaks my heart. It's all so unfair. It's almost impossible to keep a job when you have to be on this much medication and have the severe depression and panic attacks this person has. And all this was brought on by the divorce. It just makes me so sad.

I haven't been divorced and I thank God for that. But from what I've seen, I know that it could happen to me or anyone. I've seen marriages that I thought would last forever fall apart. I sincerely believe that it could happen to anyone if there is not a commitment to make the marriage work and to keep it together. It takes work to keep a marriage together. But the most important thing is commitment. To anyone who may be going through a divorce right now, I am so sorry. I am not here to give advice because I wouldn't know what advice to give. I just wish that people didn't have to go through this pain caused by divorce.

Mal 2:16
"I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel..... Malachi 2:16

5 comments:

Amel's Realm said...

Sorry to hear about that person who's living on so much medication after the divorce. I sincerely hope I can keep my marriage until death do us part, esp. since we're newlyweds and we still have a long way to go...

BP said...

Divorce is heartbreaking to so many, not just the two who are getting divorced. I pray protection for our marriages.

Frasypoo said...

Divorce is a horrible thing to happen to families.
My husband got divorced twice,he married the same woman twice and she cheated on him both times when we ask the kids what is the saddest thing to ever happen to them they always say,their parents divorce.

Warren Peace said...

Last night I wrote a post about my ddivorce but didn't publish it. Maybe someday I may do a thread on the entire experience. You're right that it's horrible. Please le tyour friend know that there can be peace at the end of it all. I'll be praying for her Kathy.

Strawberry said...

As evidenced by some of the comments - divorce does not just affect the 2 parties. It affects the children and all of the extended families! It is extremely devestating and can also seem contagious. My spouse's uncle and his wife divorced after almost 30 years of marriage - then 2 of their children divorced within the next year.