Wednesday, October 10, 2007

A Perfect Life...?

Today is Wednesday of the work week, but it's like Monday for me since I took off a couple of days. The weather is gorgeous, one of those days where you just wish to stay outside all day. I don't even know what I want to write about today, so I decided to just start typing and see what happens.

One of my blogger friends mentioned one day that she was "selective" in the things she chose to put in her blog about her kids and their life. Since then, I've realized that I, too, am very selective about what I write on here and how much of me I actually allow readers to see. I tend to only let you in on the good things that happen or the positive thoughts that I have. And the more I think about this, the more I realize that I do this in real life also. I don't know why, but for some reason I want the people around me to think that everything in my life is great and wonderful all the time. When I have difficult things going on in my life, I try to hide it from my closest friends and even family. But then sometimes, when I've held the bad stuff in too long, it will come out in tears when I least expect it. Maybe I would be better off just sharing my problems with someone rather than trying to make people think that my life is perfect. If anyone has any psychology education, maybe you can tell me why I am this way. I think one reason I am this way is because I don't like to be around people who are negative all the time and complain constantly, so I try really hard not to be that way. Maybe I went too far the other direction. Anyway, just in case I've made anyone think that my life is smooth sailing all the time, it's not! I have big problems sometimes, and as much as I hate to admit this, I have sinful thoughts that pop into my head sometimes. I wish I didn't, but thank God for giving us a Savior who will forgive us of our sins and who will carry the burden of our problems if we just let him.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)


Kay said...

I used to be very private, but more recently believe God is calling me to open up. Sometimes I think I am TOO open, but people have told me they appreciate it because it gives them courage to share their own hearts. Plus, I really have to rely on God to do it. Because if people see the REAL me, well, what if they don't like what they see?
I think he wants us to be real, but it is very hard. Very scary.

Frasypoo said...

Hi Kathy,
And I thought life was all sunshine and roses for you!!!Just joking!
I agree with Kay sometimes I think everyone knows everything about me but I hope it helps someone out and plus...I know you like me the way I am !

Sindi said...

Ok, here goes some good advice from a long winded friend. I use to be the same way because I was afraid people would think wrong of me or bad thoughts of me. I have learned in only the past year that it does not make any difference how nice or sweet you are to people they will and I mean will find something mean to say. I thought I was protecting them from my stress and in all reality I was makeing it worse. I would be very stressed and they can feel that.

I find that if you pick a day to cry it helps. If you feel that you can not talk to some one then give yourself some you time. That means go and be alone. Get the sadest songs you can find, turn them on, and just start bawling. It is so great and you feel so much better and no one has to know and when you are done you see that life is not that bad, it just seemed that way for the moment.

Believe me I have had to find some me time. I quit smoking after 15 years and I never knew how much nicotine has an effect on your emotions. I can tell you it does, I have noticed that things just come flying out of my mouth and some things are just not polite. Every one else just thinks it is the funniest thing they have ever heard but I don't. See, here I go again, I really need to learn to shut up.

Any ways, Kat, we all have problems and if people think you don't then they are blind. I am here if you need to talk as you can see I never shut up. God Bless and Love through Christ :)

Amel's Realm said...

Ah, we're only humans, Kathy. :-))) I usually share my bad sides as well 'coz the burden of being thought of as "perfect" or "goody-goody" is not nice. I'd love to show everybody my bad sides, but that doesn't work, either, 'coz some people aren't ready to see the true me, nor do they care to see the true me. So I can only show them to my close friends and in the blogosphere and in my journals.

However, different people deal with their problems differently. Some prefer to cower in their own little corners to think or cry or do whatever until they heal again...some people need to rant and rave. Whatever works for you, just do it. :-)))

I also used to hold everything inside, but I found that the mountain of emotions would definitely explode either sooner or later. After I learnt journaling and after I became closer to my friends, I started talking to them. Now I find that it's very therapeutic to write about my inner problems in my blog, too, 'coz I get so many encouraging comments (esp. from those people who've been there before). Sometimes being understood for me feels like halvening my burden.

OK now I'm rambling...just sharing my experience and thoughts. ;-D


matt said...

I'm right there with you Kathy. I'm far from perfect. Yesterday so many bad things popped into my head. I just have to try to remember to calm down and remember someone awesome is watching over me.

Strawberry said...

Kathy - It's obvious that a lot of people feel the same way. I tell our SS class we may be fighting all the way to church, but before we get out of the car, everyone puts on their smiles and walks into church. When someone asks how we're doing, we all smile very sweetly and answer "Fine". NOT!!!

I also tend to wear a mask to hide the true me. I have taken in the lie from Satan, that if those around me knew all of the bad things I've done, said, thought, etc. they would never have anything to do with me again!

Even if every person around me did respond that way - Jesus never will! He knows anyway - so why try to hide?

The Bible tells us that God can use everything for good when we turn it over to Him. Maybe someone else needs to hear about those dark places and see how God's grace and mercy are freely given to us.

Just a few thoughts. Sorry for such a long comment!