Thursday, August 2, 2007


This is something I've been thinking about for a while, but haven't quite known how to put it into words. I'm going to give it a try today. It's about my kids' bedroom doors.

When a new baby comes into your life and you put them to sleep in the crib in their own room, you keep the door open at night because you want to be able to hear them if they cry. And then all through their childhood the door is open so they can feel closer to mommy and daddy and so mommy and daddy can hear them if they call during the night. It's a comfort to be able to peek into the room and see your sleeping child through the open door.

But then suddenly one day, puberty starts to set in and the child begins to close the bedroom door. I know now that they need privacy at this time in their life when they are just starting the process of becoming an adult. But when my children started closing the bedroom door, I felt like they were trying to get away from me and shut me out of their life. As a parent, it was a very hard thing to get used to. I actually hated to look at their closed door. But as time went by and I got accustomed to the door being closed, it was okay, and at times even comforting to know they were safe and sound at home and not out driving around late at night.

It seems like as soon as I got used to the door being closed, my kids grew up and were leaving home for college. Then the bedroom doors were always open. When I wake up in the night, the doors are open, when I get up each morning, their doors are open. An open door means I don't know for sure if they are safe and sound asleep in bed.

And now this week, they are both home for a little while and when I wake up during the night or early in the morning, I just look at their bedroom doors. When I see them closed, it is such an amazing comfort because I know exactly where they are. Yes, I know they are grown up now, but they are still my children and a mother never stops having concerns for her children. I now long for those closed doors that I once hated. Next week when they both go back to their lives away from home, I'll be looking at open doors again and that is when I have to just trust God to watch over them and take care of them.


Anthony said...

Kathy, Thanks for checking out my blog. I have a daughter that I don't see anymore and now the door to her room and my arms are always open. I can relate.

see my poem "I wonder"

Chris said...

I can understand your thoughts. I have a 4 year old step daughter and a 2.5 month old daughter. I am not at all looking forward to the days when they are not shutting their doors, but rather slamming their doors shut.

I found your blog through the blogger help group on google. I think this post here is very well written. You said you were looking for a topic, maybe this is your topic. To discuss what it is like to be an active or no longer active mom. Many people can relate, and they will feel emotionally better knowing that they are not alone.

Hope this helps.

Amel's Realm said...

AMEN. God's the best carer of all. ;-)))

It's not easy, isn't it??? I haven't got kids yet, but I'm TRULY thankful for my parents for having been able to let me go this far...they're in Indo and I'm in Finland. I guess I'll only understand the depth of their "hardship" in letting me go when I become a parent myself later on.

Hope your kids will be always close to you no matter how far they are. I think that's the most important thing. I can't fly back to Indo every year or so (can't afford it), but I THANK GOD for the internet. And they're always close to me in my heart and in prayers.

Kathy said...

Anthony, I believe your daughter will find you one day. Great poem!
Chris, thanks for your encouragement about the focus of my blog. Make the most of your time with those girls while you have them.
Amel, I know your parents must miss you so much! Just keep in close touch with them. I can feel their pain of letting you go.

Cheryl said...

Hi Kathy,
Thanks for leaving me my first comment on my blog page! I really enjoyed this blog you wrote on doors, it reminded me of one I wrote last year called "On letting go..." about my daughter's semester abroad, so I decided to post it. Pop over to my site if you'd like to read it. Anyway, keep writing and have a great weekend!

Strawberry said...

Kathy - I have a daughter who got married last summer and had her first child this summer. Letting go is the hardest thing, but God is absolutely in control of everything! I also have a 16 year old son still at home and the closed door is sometimes hard to take - but at least I know he's in there!

Thank you for a great post!

Rural Writer said...

What a well written description of what it's like with kids, at home, then all of a sudden not. Thanks for sharing.
- Rural Writer
(Adventures in the Country)
(Living with Chronic Pain)

BP said...

Thanks for linking me to this. That is a wonderful post and made me think.

Prin said...

Aww! That's so sweet. :)