Doors

This is something I've been thinking about for a while, but haven't quite known how to put it into words. I'm going to give it a try today. It's about my kids' bedroom doors.

When a new baby comes into your life and you put them to sleep in the crib in their own room, you keep the door open at night because you want to be able to hear them if they cry. And then all through their childhood the door is open so they can feel closer to mommy and daddy and so mommy and daddy can hear them if they call during the night. It's a comfort to be able to peek into the room and see your sleeping child through the open door.

But then suddenly one day, puberty starts to set in and the child begins to close the bedroom door. I know now that they need privacy at this time in their life when they are just starting the process of becoming an adult. But when my children started closing the bedroom door, I felt like they were trying to get away from me and shut me out of their life. As a parent, it was a very hard thing to get used to. I actually hated to look at their closed door. But as time went by and I got accustomed to the door being closed, it was okay, and at times even comforting to know they were safe and sound at home and not out driving around late at night.

It seems like as soon as I got used to the door being closed, my kids grew up and were leaving home for college. Then the bedroom doors were always open. When I wake up in the night, the doors are open, when I get up each morning, their doors are open. An open door means I don't know for sure if they are safe and sound asleep in bed.

And now this week, they are both home for a little while and when I wake up during the night or early in the morning, I just look at their bedroom doors. When I see them closed, it is such an amazing comfort because I know exactly where they are. Yes, I know they are grown up now, but they are still my children and a mother never stops having concerns for her children. I now long for those closed doors that I once hated. Next week when they both go back to their lives away from home, I'll be looking at open doors again and that is when I have to just trust God to watch over them and take care of them.