Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The Lazy River

I feel like I'm at such a weird point in my life, at an in-between stage. I've always felt like I had a purpose and I tried to live my life by working toward that goal. As a kid my purpose was to go to school and do my best and work toward graduating. As a young adult my purpose was to find God's will for my life, obtain a music degree, and figure out who I was supposed to marry. After getting married and having kids my purpose became more clear than ever. First of all I had to be a wife, but I also had children to care for. For many years my life was consumed with taking care of the physical needs of my children, feeding them, bathing them, keeping them clothed, taking them to the doctor when they were sick, waking them for school, making sure they got to school, making sure their homework was done, taking them to church and other activities including baseball practice, tennis lessons, soccer, gymnastics, piano, and then going to watch them perform in baseball or soccer games, piano recitals, school programs, church programs. Of course, I didn't have to do it all by myself because my husband was just as much involved in it all as I was. In all of this there was a goal we were striving to reach which was to have our children grow up to be good, law-abiding adults who would be able to leave us at some point and be independent. And now that they have both moved out it has left me wondering what my purpose is for this chapter in my life.

I no longer have to take care of children, and neither of my kids are married yet so I'm not a grandmother. My parents are doing well so I'm not having to be a care giver to them. I am in great health and without having so many responsibilities as before, I should have an abundance of time to do many things that I never had time for when I was so busy. But I honestly don't know what my purpose is right now. It's really a wonderful time in life and I feel so free, but I don't want to waste it because I know it won't last forever. New responsibilites will come later.

Right now, my life is reminding me of a water park. Water parks are great fun in the summertime with lots of different kinds of water slides, wave pools, playhouses and my favorite, the Lazy River. I feel like I've already done a lot of the water slides -- it takes some effort to climb to the top before you can actually enjoy the slide down. I feel like I've experienced the wave pools -- just doing everything you can to keep your head above water. I've had some fun along the way in the water playhouses. And now, this season of my life feels like the Lazy River -- it doesn't take much effort, you just get in and relax on a tube and float down the river as long as you feel like it. There's no climbing to reach a goal at the top, no exhilarating slide down, and no waves that feel like they are going to drown you. I'm sure at some point I am going to have to get out of my lazy river and battle some waves and climb some high steps again. But for right now, I am really enjoying my float on the Lazy River.


Nina said...

I'm not anxious for my children to grow up, but I do look forward to a season when I can focus more of my attention on my husband... but I'm sure you're already doing that. We know some about caring for aging parents too, and it is very time consuming. Enjoy this season! I (almost) envy you!

Sandi said...

Not sure what to do talk with your pastor. There may be a young women who needs your mentoring.
That time is a joy of stillness but also rest up life will get busy again.

Lori said...

Oh Kathy,

The song was wonderful Sunday. I am sorry I haven't been around to visit. I wished we lived closer. You could write and play and I could sing or we could sing together. Someday, if it is possible, I would love to meet you.

If you ever come close to Michigan please let me know.

We have trying to throw a surprise B-party for my son. He turns 30 next week. My daughter-in-law and I have been very busy planning and buying everything.

I'll be blogging again next week.

Love ya lots,


sister sheri said...

Love, love, love the water park analogy! Sometimes the lazy river has its own difficulties... like actually sitting still for more than one minute... being okay without having accomplishments galore... the Lord encourages us to rest... why fight it? The Lazy River can be good for us... we just have to remember to put on a lot of extra sunscreen!

Prin said...

Aw. In betweens are great but also can be torture. I'm glad yours is a happy one. :)

Good luck. :)

MondaythroughSunday said...

Life has so many seasons to it. I think we get dissatisfied when we do not want a season to change or look forward so far that we do not enjoy where we are. I want to enjoy each season of life!! Sounds like you are!

Anonymous said...

I know what your purpose in life babysit my kids ALOT! That should always be on your mind!
Thanks for being a wonderful aunt to them. I (like Nina) almost envy you too! :)
Lil' Sis

Amel's Realm said...

Ahhhhh...I love reading about this. The stages of life. My aunt says that this is an empty nest period, eh? Glad you're enjoying it to the fullest. ;-D

Frasypoo said...

I guess its a period in your life where its about you and your hubby.

Kathy I had a strange dream,I dreamt we were talking face to face while we were shopping and you pointed at a bikini and said that you had bought it for a beach vacation!