Feeling Inadequate

Last night after I finished with choir practice at the church where I play the piano, I then went over to my own church for a meeting with some other ladies about a bridal shower we are giving in February. This shower is going to be for one of my closest friend's son and his fiance', so I definitely want to be one of the hostesses. I knew before I went that something like this is totally out of my comfort zone, but I didn't realize that it was going to leave me feeling completely inadequate. After sitting around with several women who know how to decorate tables and make beautiful cakes, mints and cheese straws, I wondered why I was even sitting in that room. I really felt like I didn't belong and that I didn't know how to do ANYTHING! I mean I don't even have the nice serving trays and dishes like everyone else has because I'm just not into entertaining with all kinds of frilly stuff. All I know how to do is make a big ole' pot of chili or a bunch of tacos and move out of the way while some hungry guys help themselves. To be honest, last night I felt like a complete failure as a woman and I feared that I've probably passed this on to my daughter.

This morning I was still having these feelings of inadequacy to the point where I could have just cried if I would have allowed it. But almost as soon as I felt like crying, I started asking God to help me change in this area and to help me learn new things. Now here's the great thing about having scripture stored away in your memory; as soon as I started praying, verses about His strength being made perfect through my weaknesses started pouring into my mind as if God himself was talking to me. He said in these verses that his grace is sufficient and that when I am weak, then He is strong. I am so thankful to have the Word of God to comfort me at times like this. After that, my thoughts became more positive and I decided not to let this steal my joy. I'm going to take it upon myself to learn some new things and become good at making at least one frilly recipe that would be good at bridal showers. And then maybe I'll learn how to make one of those bows that you hang on the door for a bridal shower. Maybe I'll get a part-time job with a catering service to learn some things about making food look pretty on a table. I don't know what I'll really end up doing, but I thought of a lot of things I could do to improve myself in this area.

I do want to mention also that when I got home last night, I told my husband how I was feeling and he was so sweet. He hugged me and told me about all the things that I do well -- to him, it doesn't matter whether I can do those frilly things or not, he just loves me the way I am. I thank the Lord for my wonderful husband!

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Mr. Rogers Neighborhood

I felt like Mr. Rogers today. I wore this nice, professional-looking black suit jacket to work, along with my beautiful Onyx bead necklace my hubby gave me for Christmas. I always try to dress up with a professional look for work, however my clothes usually don't quite look the way I want them to look. But this morning I felt pretty good about my outfit. When I got to my desk I noticed that the collar of the black jacket was bothering me because it comes up too high at the back of my neck. So, I took off the jacket and replaced it with the old worn black sweater that I keep at my desk. That's when I felt like Mr. Rogers. In case anyone is not familiar with Mr. Rogers, it was a show that use to be on public TV. I have no idea whether or not it still comes on. But at the beginning of every show, Mr. Rogers would sing "It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood" and he would be walking into the house, changing from his coat into his sweater, and changing from his regular shoes into his sneakers. That is why I felt like him when I changed into my sweater.

My youngest sister is 12 years younger than I am. When she was a preschooler and I was a bratty teenager, my other sisters and I would tease her mercilessly anytime she would watch Mr. Rogers on TV. Because we were older and so much wiser (ha!) we thought the show was so silly and ridiculous. So, we deprived her of watching something that she probably really liked as a young child because we were so mean. But then when I had my first child, guess what show he liked to watch? He loved watching Mr. Rogers! By that time, I was more mature and I didn't tease him or deprive him of watching the show. And later on after he grew up, he told me that Mr. Rogers always made him feel so peaceful. I know now that it was a great and educational TV show for children to watch. So, Angie, if you are reading my blog, I apologize for teasing you and depriving you of watching Mr. Rogers when you were a little kid. I wonder if you would have turned out different if we had let you watch it. Here is a fun Mr. Rogers website you can let the kids try out.

I have no idea why I just wrote a post about Mr. Rogers. Maybe I just needed to ease my guilty conscience for teasing my sister. But on a truly important note, today my daughter starts her next semester of college. To my praying blogger friends, I would really appreciate your prayers for her as she starts her classes. She is plagued with anxiety, but I know that God can heal her from this and help her through.

Morning

Is anyone other than me a morning person? I love the early morning time and I usually don't have any trouble getting myself up at 5:45 on weekdays. I even wake up early on Saturdays and I love getting up and having the house so quiet while I drink my coffee and read the Bible or read/write blogs. Don't misunderstand me, I haven't quite gotten myself disciplined enough that I am able to always read my Bible before going to work each morning. I am working on that; but I can write this post today because I had enough time this morning to actually read my Bible before having to leave for work. I really want to get to the point where I do it every morning before leaving the house, but it will take a lot of self-discipline on my part.

As I was opening my Bible to read in the book of Matthew, a verse I had underlined in red (in the Psalms) caught my attention. It said, "In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." I like that it mentions praying to God in the morning. But I wonder.....after I present my requests to the Lord in prayer, do I really wait in expectation? What does it mean to wait in expectation? Some might say that it means to expect God to answer the prayer the way I want it to be answered. But I think it means that after I present my requests to God, that I know He has heard me and I trust Him with the outcome to be in His sovereign will. And because I know that He will do what is best for me, then I can wait in expectation of seeing God's will worked out in my life. That's totally my own interpretation. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this verse.

The Bible I use at home for my Bible study is one that I would recommend for anyone who wants to dig a little deeper as they read, or for someone who might need a little help with clarifying some of the verses. It's called the Life Application Bible, and mine is in the New International Version. It's really big and thick because there are a lot of footnotes that go with a lot of the verses. I don't take this one to church with me because it's pretty heavy for carrying, but it is perfect for home use when you really want to study the Bible.

**Please see my comment section**

But I cry to you for help, O Lord; in the morning my prayer comes before you. Psalm 88:13

Empty Nest

Five advantages of an empty nest:
1. Food lasts a whole lot longer and you only have to cook for two.
2. The house stays neater and cleaner.
3. You can have the house quiet or listen to whatever music you like.
4. You can walk around the house in your P.J.'s or whatever.
5. You can use the computer whenever you want because it's always free.

If all those advantages are so great, then why am I missing making food for a bunch and having to keep running to the store for more, in a really messy house, and not being able to use my kitchen or computer early in the morning because someone is sleeping in the den?

Apparently, I must prefer my house to look the way it looked earlier today...

Movie

This is a nice movie to watch and will give you something to think about.

http://www.dashpoemmovie.com

Changes

There is something about taking down all the Christmas decorations and cleaning up afterwards that makes me want to change things in my house. Normally, I never change anything or rearrange furniture. But on New Year's Day I guess it just felt like a fresh start and I had this urge to change things in my house. The great part is that I did it all without having to go out and buy new stuff.... I just put away some of the things I'd used before on my mantle and entertainment center so that there was less clutter, and rearranged them to give it a different look. And then I totally rearranged the furniture in my living room (with my husband's reluctant help). After doing all that, moving furniture and the piano, he was not happy with the way it looked and he told me that I might be talented musically, but I sure wasn't talented with interior decorating! Gee, thanks hubby! I already knew that I couldn't decorate, so we'll be changing the living room back to the old way pretty soon.

Speaking of changes, I believe that people often think they have to change bad habits or bad behavior in their life before they can start having a relationship with Jesus, or before they can start going to church or seeking help from Christians. However, it's really just the opposite. Jesus doesn't expect you to change anything before coming to him. Any changes you make on your own would probably be like my attempt to change my living room around. Yes, it looked different but it wasn't a good look and it ended up just being temporary. Jesus wants people to come to him as they are, bad habits, bad behavior and everything, and then let him clean up the mess. The only real changes that will last are the ones that He, our real Interior Decorator, makes. If you need to change something in your life in 2008, come to Jesus just the way you are and let him do the work.

But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin.
1 John 3:5

Bible Reading

Happy New Year!

I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions, but I woke up this morning with a strong desire to read my Bible and to be more consistent with my daily Bible study. I've noticed that my blog posts are the best when I've been studying the Word. I still plan to write about my life and my family, but I want everything I say and do to always be seasoned with the Word of God. We are so blessed in the U.S. to have free access to Bibles and to churches, yet so many do not take advantage of this. If you don't read the Bible, I would like to ask why not? I think most people would answer this question with the reason of, "I don't understand it when I read it." My response to that is, read it anyway. The Bible is not like any other book. We can't rely on only our own intelligence or knowledge to understand this book. That's because the Bible is not just a book....it is the holy and inspired Word of God. God's Holy Spirit reveals to us the meaning of the Bible as we read it, and as He chooses to reveal. I believe that the more I read it, the more He will reveal the truths that are in the Bible. It doesn't all come to you the first time, or the second time. Just read it and yes, concentrate on what it says, but allow God to show you through his Word what He wants you to know.

No resolutions for this year, but a couple of my resolutions for life are in the verses below.

You are the salt of the earth.....You are the light of the world....let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:13, 14, 16

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:6