Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Conversation and Gossip

When it comes to conversation, most people’s favorite subject is themselves. Have you ever been around someone who talks only about themselves and everything about their life? Some people never give you a chance to talk about things that are going on in your life, and when you do, they somehow find a way to turn it into a conversation about their life. I guess this is a normal thing since the subject we all know the most about is ourselves. But I’ve noticed that when I am around people like that, after a while I just stop telling them anything at all about things going on in my life because I feel like they really don’t care. If they ask me something about myself or my family, I’ll answer, but I get discouraged when they only want to talk about their own life and never seem to care about things that are important to me. Because of this, I have tried to become aware of my conversations with other people by not only talking about myself, but asking them about things that are important to them. I know that I fail sometimes because I love talking about my kids. But I really want to start working harder on not monopolizing conversations with talk about me and my family, but by asking questions about others’ lives to show that I really am interested.

Another thing that really bothers me is when I’m in a situation where I can’t walk away and the other person starts telling me something about another person – like gossip. It makes me very uncomfortable and usually when this happens it is a situation where I have to be around the person and I don’t have the option of walking away. And I’m sure that I do this also. Gossip is a very hard thing to “not do”. So, that’s the other thing I need to work on with my conversations – trying not to talk about other people in a way that puts them down.

·Colossians 4:6 NIV
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
·Proverbs 20:19 NIV
A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.


Sandi said...

The other part that bothers me is they ask me about myselve but just so they can then change it into something about themselves that they wanted to share but I didn't ask about.

bp said...

This is something I need to work on as well in conversations.

Amel's Realm said...

THANKS for the reminders, Kathy. :-))))

prin said...

It's ok to talk about yourself as long as you empathize while you do it and listen later on when it's the other's turn.

And the other way around, if they don't let you get yours in because they're not empathetic and self-centered, or if they gossip, you can either accept it, growing in discomfort and resentment, or you can confront them about it one day, if you're comfortable enough. Some people just don't know or don't realize. It's in the Bible over and over too-

Proverbs 27:5
5 Open rebuke is better
Than love carefully concealed.
6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

And Titus 1: 10-16, among others...

Silence just encourages it, imo. Help those around you to be better Christians and through teaching, you'll be a better one too. :)